Living Here: Successful Expatriates Do This

I passed a small milestone pretty much unnoticed this week. In early July I completed six years of living full time in Mexico. I have never been one to make a big deal out of anniversaries, so I didn't even mark the day. However I recently visited Alaska, my birthplace and the lifelong home I departed from to begin a new life in Mérida, and that has prompted me to reflect on the transition.

Mine's been a successful venture, in all categories. I am happy I moved, feel invigorated in late middle age by a new way of life, and do not seriously think about moving permanently back up north.

However I have seen others move to Mexico, full of excitement and hope, only to experience disillusion and disappointment. Some try it for a year or two before deciding to move back to where they came from. Others stay, but adapt by cocooning themselves within a small crowd of other expats, their air conditioning and their cable TV and live isolated from much of the beauty of life here. Some also mix in booze, drugs, and obsessive sexual behavior.

Although living as an expatriate in Mexico proves difficult for some, in many of the others who remain, it brings out their best.

There is something particular, or maybe peculiar, about the foreigners who move here, find community, stay and are truly happy. There are those who find themselves happier than they have ever been, their lives blossoming as they meet the challenge of exploring new relationships, places, ideas and interests.

I've thought a lot about why my move was successful, and taken a look at other happy and successful foreigners living in Mexico. Obviously, for each of these their move goes well for individual reasons. But there are more common threads than differences.

Happy expats who stay on for the long haul usually started out by doing their homework. Although no quantity of research and trial visits can fully prepare one for what it's like to live here all the time, these things certainly can assist with identifying obstacles and help with the decision-making process.

Successful transplants usually are flexible, open minded and have a sense of adventure. They don't expect things to be the same as they were where they came from, and accept, or better yet enjoy, the differences. They adjust to a slower rhythm of life. They appreciate new experiences and thrive on the challenge of figuring out an unfamiliar culture and living in a place where most people don't speak their language. Through it all they generally manage to remain positive. These are not the kind of people you hear talking excessively about how great things are "back home."

Patience is very important. It takes time to adjust to different ways of doing things, different food, weather, and really just about everything else. Most people go through an initial euphoric period, a time when everything is delightful, exciting and exotic. This often is followed by a period of reevaluation, when they find themselves confronting unanticipated difficulties, realize that a new country didn't make old problems go away, and feel homesick. At this point they may wonder if they made the right choice. Some manage to use this time as an opportunity for growth, but it usually takes a couple of years, and patience, to work it all out.

Finally, many successful expats break out of old patterns and reinvent themselves to some extent. I am not talking about people who are running from their past and try to create a fictitious self. The fractures in these fairy tales usually start to show pretty quickly. What I'm talking about are those who find themselves with time to do what they really want to do, things like volunteering to teach, support environmental causes or care for abandoned animals, pursuing new careers in art, writing or other fields, or opening a new business. Foreigners here usually feel a lot more freedom to experiment and try out new roles than they did where they came from. Moving to another country is a chance to forge a new identity by taking risks and accomplishing things they never had time to do before.

I think Babs, in the "about me" section of her blog, sums up perfectly the key attitude of many successful expats with a quote from Helen Keller: "Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all." Expatriates with this attitude have the time of their lives.